Hard to explain

to why some people are so charismatic and influential in ones life.
I wish I had all the powers in the world to do what I want. And by powers, I mean money because honestly that I really what I need. Yes, I know there are ways around not having a bunch of money, but I cannot sacrafice school right now even though I tend to think I am bullshiting my way through college and will have accomplished nothing in a year.

I want a reward for my "hard work". I dont want to stress about money being tight.

I forgot to mention I ate at Burger King yesterday. Probably first time in a decade.



and it was a veggie burger!

Dilemmas and complaints:

it's 11:30 right now and I ate breakfast at 8 and my next class is at 1:30 and I'll be busy until 5. I should get lunch now but I'm lazy and too cheap.

i went out and PURCHASED the book I needed for my report (I never buy books!), took the lovely 5 hours of my Sunday evening to read it and have just found out it's only 2 pages double spaced. all the work for something so little.

coffee or no coffee? i dont want to waste a paper cup....

Diet

I almost forgot about my new diet. I was supposed to start today, but I think I'm going to wait until I eat through all the foods I'm not supposed to eat first so that I dont waste anything (waste > my health)


So I suppose in a few days that food should be eaten and my diet will no longer consist of:

cane sugar (in any form)
almonds
bean sprouts

and like usual, no dairy.


I've got to finish my two favorite things before I start my diet: almond vanilla granola with vanilla soymilk.

Cane sugar will be tough, but it makes so much sense that I'm allergic to it. It's why I always feel healthier while in Europe- they use beet sugar! So my life will now not only consist of reading nutrition labels, but being able to identify brands and knowing where beets are grown in the USA. awesome.

Sundays are a joke

On Sundays, I'm pretty good at underestimating the amount of work I have to do for the following week. How do I know this?
Because my datebook is filled with at least 2 things for every date until Saturday. Then, I've got 2 volunteer events happening in 2 weeks, a paid temporary job for a week in a few weeks, more hours at my current job, a few lunch/dinner/coffee dates spread over the next 2 weeks, an application for my major due this week, prefield training on the weekend, 3 short papers due in the next week and an exam in 2 weeks.


What have I completed so far? What have I gotten started on? (no one probably cares but at least it lets me keep track of myself):
just about to start 2 of those short papers


that's it.


Oh yes, and I have to buy gifts for 3 individuals in the next week or so.


YES TO BEING BUSY.

What's going on in my brain

>> i should chop off my hair for summer. life would be easier.
>> i should pierce my nose again. where's the money going to come from? I should work some more.
>> hungry. what's to eat? burrito. pb&j? oh yeah, no sugar.
>> I'm highly allergic to cane sugar. and almonds and bean sprouts.
>> If it hasn't been noted, I'm lactose intolerant and have been on a dairy free diet for 11 months.
>> please, 2 page paper just type yourself.
>> I just checked some brands in my area... turns out beet sugar is pretty available! but that still means I need to avoid all baked goods for the next 3 weeks because most bakeries use cane sugar (so much better in cooking. a lot sweeter!)

also

what's up with this 2 month gap? ridiculous. my paper journal is suffering as well.

i guess it should be noted that i'm:
in school
not really working
sort of kind of studying
dating someone amazing
trying to like seattle but not really
getting ready for traveling
feeling anxious and scared
and really emotional